Updated: May 7
Among millennials, ghosting means cutting lines of communication abruptly. The term is often used in the context of online dating. You go out a few times, things seem great, and then ..... silence. In the context of a working professional, applicants have been "ghosted" by employers for years. But, in a display of economic karma, reports have found that applicants are now cutting communication with wannabe employers once they get other offers or lose interest.
As human beings, we're often faced with the idea of creating emotional boundaries and taking necessary time to ourselves every once in a while. On the contrary, a lot of us are afraid of ruining friendships and relationships by "ghosting", even if only for a short amount of time.
How can you even get away with "ghosting" in the digital era?
In this digital age we live in, people really can't get away with "ghosting". Everyone has access to their phone at all times, so to assume someone received your message, and can't take a moment to reply back makes you wonder. What's even worse is when your message was received, and you see activity on their social media pages! Ghosting isn't happening to just men, or just women. There are no stereotypes when getting ghosted.
Just when you've gotten used to the sting of being ghosted, there's a new upgraded version to worry about: mosting.
With mosting, your prospective partner lays it on thick, more or less convincing you that you're The One, then ghosts you. As with ghosting, you're left totally blindsided, but also wondering, "why would you put in all that effort?" Mosting is essentially a subcategory of ghosting, says Tracy Moore, the journalist who coined the phrase in an article for MEL Magazine.
"Mosting is ghosting, but where before you ghost, you completely love bomb the person with praise, compliments and faux perfect soulmate-type stuff," she told HuffPost.
Is our society losing social skills?
Ghosting is now moving out of just the romantic sector and into our day-to-day relationships with friends and family. It's not just the millennials, it's everyone. People are developing relationships on the internet. Whether you're online dating and only communicating via email or text, or playing video games and meeting at the same time each week to connect, people are developing relationships with no real world communication.
When this weaves into your day-to-day personal life, and you're living on that frequency, it's really cultivating poor habits within the brain. On the spiritual side, guru Swami Nithyananda from India, speaks of the four spiritual truths, and one is completion.
This relates to that. When we don't show up, and complete with somebody, we leave them hanging and create a habit, or pattern, called Samskara. These Samskara become grooves in the brain. We are leaving ourselves incomplete. People don't realize, when you start ghosting someone, you have not let it go. There is an energetic string to that person that is connecting you and creating other challenges in your life.
If you're guilty of ghosting someone, you must forgive yourself. People are afraid of owning up to their mistakes and forgiving themselves, and instead are making excuses. The moment you own up to your mistake and speak your truth, it dissolves.
Are you the one being ghosted?
You obviously can't keep reaching out to this person, they won't reach back. You are still going to feel incomplete. The best way to manage this, is to journal. Get out a pen and piece of a paper, and write that person a letter. Thank them for the time spent, and let them know you will be moving on. Once it's written down, let it go. If you want to go the extra step, you can safely light this paper on fire or down it in a bowl of water.
Being ghosted can make you replay your entire relationship or friendship in your mind. Were you the one being toxic? Was it your fault? Maybe. Maybe not. More often that not, it's not about you. Even if there were negative things you may have done during that exchange, it is not about you. You need to get clear with your own energy and your own intentions. The only way to do that is through meditation. This is the foundation, goes full circle, and is the only way to clear out bad habits.
Steps To Work On Yourself
Mantras are a way to smooth out the grooves in your brain. Use a mantra and follow through.
If there is someone you feel as if you've ghosted, get in contact with that person. You have to face this person to become complete, otherwise, you will create a cycle in all areas of your life. Life will become stagnant and go on repeat!
Apologize to yourself. Keep a journal and write it down.
Make a conscious resolution and KEEP GOING.
Listen to Episode 4 of The Spiritual Toolbox Podcast: So, You've Been Spiritually Ghosted
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